fuzzy blue lights.

I listen to this song over and over and it doesnt end, over and over it doesnt end.
I am sitting here tonight and I feel like I need to write need to share because the truth is ive been keeping a lot to myself.
I'm not sure this is going to work out, but Im never going to give it up till you hate me for it.
I'm tired of being angry all the time, for reasons i cant control, for reasons i shoudnt even be angry, but it bothers me, it does.

Im tired of crying, Im tired of being sad,

im tired of letting you down, i know i do even though you dont say it, nothing ever works out perfectly like we want.
Its not your job to save me, you can walk away at any second.
im not your anchor so dont hold on to me.

I keep trying to think of all the good that will come, its really all that keeps me going, curling up in a ball wont change anything for me, its not that i have a good head on my shoulders or that i know how to handle this well.

i dealing with life, im not living.

life is fagile.

things are going to change. im tired of waiting for you to be the person I know you were.
you make me so sad



ive got so much to do in a month, but everything is pretty much already set besides finding a place.

oh please will at least one thing go right for me? please?
am i really that bad of a person?
makes me hate myself, everythings my fault.