solo

Ive got this giant hole in my chest that i feel a constant draft blowing through.
god i miss you, i love you, you break me so sweet.

ive got this feeling inside that i might explode. i really do love you so much.
Im just happy?
im afraid

im in an odd mood today.
days like these im glad i have a jobby so i have something to do at all.

blahh.
i should be happy right now but i feel like crying.

9 months of dating
8months since ive seen you; since you promised id be seeing a lot of you, so soon.
4 months since ive left, still you fuck everything up with the infinent reach of your arm.
6 weeks till NM.

im alone not lonely, just hold me tonight

I am ready.
i am ready
i am ready.

im know i wont kid myself running away from this that all of these feelings will go away
i just need new distractions, rather then the same old ones tainted by everything thats happened.

im feeling a little rough around the edges today.