i dont understand.

Last night i had two different heart to hearts with two different people simultaneously and in ways everything that was said from both went hand in hand.

i dont understand, it never occured to me that people love differently, just that people are different, love is love, you do or you dont. I love singularly and i dont know how not too. ive put everything in to one thing and i cant not, i want to.
i want to call someone mine and not have to share them at all
and i need them to want me the same way.
its so hard being a singularly oriented person and the person youve chose isnt, chose is the wrong word, but the intent is there.
ive found that over the years this tends to make me miserable a lot, because honestly i need that back. i need to stop filling friends with this role, obviously cause they leave, get busy or find other things as time goes on.

kaela, maybe this makes things make a little more sense? its not about romantic or friendship, its about..exactly what a penguin represents.always, everything. i know you cant help it, and the way things make me feel i cant really control either. its not fair to you that your this person to me, its really not, and its not fair to me either.
this is why i feel replaced, not as your lover, not as your penguin, not even as your friend, but in spaces i used to fill more that ive got to share.
this will work itself out eventually, and now i can see where ive faulted in it all, you should of never been able to replace emily and nor her jesse or any of the others before them.