This year things will change, ive got a rumble in my belly but i cannot know what these changes will bring, or if they will make me happy at all but as long as my feet are on the ground and my heart stays lost high up in the clouds i think that everything will be alright. this is like ripping out your organs just to see if they will stick to the wall, this is like jumping not knowing whats at the bottom, I will not come out of this unscraped or unchanged i do not expect that much, but this year ; dear days i have yet to meet, just know that i am expexpecting so much out of each of you, so please oh please dont let me down to low.
i am alone right now for the first time this year and ive had a lot on my mind lately crawling under the surface of my skin that i can finally sit here and pick each one out. december sort of flew by even as i impatiently counted down each day, and now its nearly half way through january and before i know it i will be in another state far away from this spot i sit and type this at now. I am ready for that.
honestly eventhough it is the beginning of a new year it hasnt felt that way for me yet, i feel like everything is still closing up and coming to an end, i havent started over yet.
i had a great time these last few weeks with kaela and seeing jesse was peaches, and emily, my emily i hope i will see her before i go.
it is time to grow up again
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