I guess I wrote this on the bus ride down to NM Feb,23.

I dont always see beauty in everyone, most of the time I'm not really sure I see it in myself. I see faces on the street and they are not people to me, not unless they impact me in some way with more then there mere presence. I am traveling and I see them, these two random people in the middle of life and right then is when I start thinking that there are all of these people living lives and I am totally oblivious to them, to there loses there victorys, there love, there lifes. I see other people a road worker and most of all, all of the traffic, but they are not people, they are just cars in the way, or workers doing there job, I dont think about what its like when they go home? I dont know why this matters to me at all, but I feel like I need to know more people because when there are millions of people I feel like I am missing out.
When I first started on this roadless travel I was thinking about my grandma, I think about her more then I addmitt, everyday, but at that moment what struck me was what I used to hear here say when ever see would complain about some young kid she heard about. shed say "All young people think that they are invincible" but I guess taht sort of goes toe in toe with the youth being wasted on the young, everyone being so ready to live, waiting for it to happen and then they are old, they tell there selfs, If I would of known what I know now?
I think that what I am doing is pretty ballsy, so many things could go wrong, but I dont think I am invincible, I'm not afraid because I know at the end everything will be okay, but is it really that I am just that desperate to live?
I never felt like I was living back home, I didnt like the life I had, so now I traded it in for a new one, it is to early to say what I think of what I've got now, I just know that only time will tell.