It is 3am and i am wide awake, Ive got my last day of work tomorrow and saturday at least should be fun. Monday will be bitter sweet and then tuesday it is it, the time is practically now, i will be leaving. I'm not sure how I feel. I feel a lot. I'm ready, but there is a lot that I will miss.
Everything happens for a reason right?
Things are changing and I'm not sure what to make of them.
I guess I will just watch these things fall apart into something else I dont recognize.
Sometimes I get a bad feeling in my belly.
Most of the time I ignore it.
I'm not afraid, not of anything, There are dangers and bad things and I recognize them for that, but they dont turn my stomach, they dont make me shiver.
I guess I really just dont understand what it is to fear someting, or to stress out at all, I dont understand.
So many bad things could happen when I leave and not to sound cocky at all but I am not afraid, I know no matter what I will be alive when its all said and down?
is this the right choice?
Ive got to believe that it is.
i hate growing up.
i hate the fact thatt things have to be any different then they are now, even though everything isnt exactly ideal, i wish i could live in moments in time, nothing constant, just in those moments that mean everything.
Its not moving 300000 away from everything i know that makes me squirm a little, its that, everything is still changing. its not going to be a moment at all.
that dissapoints me.
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