Things arent really looking up, but things arent really getting worse either. Everything about right now has me feeling rather insignificant and uninspired. I need something to work.
I'll be 19 soon, really soon. I've been thinking about where I was last year at this time. and even though I really have nothing to show for myself of this past year since everything I had grasped has somehow slipped threw my fingers, I still feel like so much has happened and I've grown up leaps and bounds that thinking about how imature and just ignorant to LIFE that I used to be makes me feel all wierd.
I know when I am sitting where ever I am sitting a year from now thinking about this year to come, how it was. Most of the things I will find will be physical.
Like moving, and doing things on my own.
I dont know if I will be happy, or if I am even doing the right thing, but I got to believe that there is a reason all of these things have happened. I know that if I stay here nothing will ever change. I know that as the time get closer hopefully I will find myself more confident in my choice, but that is never going to make it any easier.
I miss the way things used to be..some things.
and I crave the way things will be..some things.
I know I cant have both.
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