I feel torn and unsure determined yet sympathetic. My mind is nowhere to be found tonight, if that is even possible. So much thinking...and not thinking happening all at the same time.
A week from today I will pretty much be homeless, claiming this one yet a guest in another, that sort of sums up my state of mind and being perfectly. I feel almost as if I'm having a outer body experience these days. I am here physically but emotionally and mentally I am lost in other places. I'm distant, more then I have ever been. My smile is forced and something I have to remind myself to do when being spoken to. I feel fake, all I really want to do is be alone, all I really need is time to make sence of this.
I’m letting myself break, I'm letting things fall, I'm waiting to feel this backlash.
Life seems pointless.
The things you try and try to hold on to always fall between your fingers and the things you try and try to rid always stay. Why is life hard? Why do we have to hurt to get stronger? Is it really “stronger” we are getting? or just numb, like a robot.
I feel so distant. My head is a mixture of a million thoughts and feelings like a jigsaw puzzle I can’t figure out.
I don’t know.
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