I've neglected you.

Well this is what I look like right now. I just took these, and there are two. because I couldnt choose between them, the only difference is the eyes shifting.
I forgot to write yesterday so I owe some events.
Well, yesterday was my brothers 10th brithday, god he is getting big, not really age wise but tall. I was staring at him yesterday when I was watching him swim and its sort of bitter sweet. I've missed out of so much of his life this past year since I have moved out, only seeing him a couple times each month is sort of pathetic. Also yesterday I made a couple of you tube videos, one for anna and the other for emily. I owed anna hers emilys was spur of the moment.

And today well today has been a rough day and I keep crying like right now for stupid reasons.
In all honesty I know why I'm crying and because of who again and I just cant stop. The more I keep thinking the more it is getting to me. It so hard not seeing someone because of technicalitys and watch them be with everyone else. Its so hard when this person doesnt seem to give you the time of day anymore as well. Its sad someone that you used to have to talk to every single day can go weeks at a time without saying hi, and I dont even think these are tears of anger running down these cheeks as much as I am hurt by this.

This situation is breaking me everyday.


side note: I'm going to california a month from today.