Options.

I feel like I've got options, its a weird feeling going from feeling like you are just walking down a long rd completely lost and all along youve really had these other choices you didnt realize.
I know that i want to go home, I dont nessisarly want to go back next month though.
Im thinking right now that if I did go back I could have both my my jobs back and I would be able to get set up rather quickly on my own, but id have to go back to my moms for a while and Id have to rely on her and that is something I dont want so Im trying to figure out a way I can avoid that, even though it seems impossible.
right now I feel like I could go futher going back then stay here in NM.
if i stay here i would have a job and Id be happy to see kaela but i dont really see much more then that, and I need to think about what is best for me over all.
So now I am just trying to figure out when exactly I want to go back. if I wait till november then relying on my mom for transportaion would be sketchy and probably unsuccessful and if I go back at some point during the summer then hopefully Id be able to at least drive myself by winter...idk I dont want to go back yet maybe in july? I have not decided but i am itching to go back to college and feel some progress in my life, right now I just feel like i am waisting time.