So right now I am sitting out in this tree park place that I come to a lot, usually i bring my doodle journal and write in and such but today i figured id give this blog something with substance woth reading for the first time in a while.
when i came to this park a little while ago the grass was all wet and I sat down next to this tree anyway knowing it would get my pants all dirty, so now i am sitting here feeling sort of lonely and with a wet butt, but its so pretty out and I have nothing to do.
I feel sort of like an animal at the zoo lately everyone is just gawking and tapping on the glasss between us but no one really cares.
I've been feeling rather detached to a lot of things and in a way its probably one of the best things for me other wise id be incredibly sad right now and instead i am just uber focused I know what I need to do and I'm doing it.
there are so many things that i want right now and I have none of them
lately ive just been looking around and seeing how everyone else i used to know and even the ones i do are living there lives, making progress in them, even if that does mean they are only in love and popping out kids, in a way i am envious of that.
I am sitting in a park alone in NM and I dont have much going for me, but things seem like they have potential I will get up for the let down.
i miss jacob, i miss jesse, i miss my grandma.
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I miss you so much.
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